mental institution
i just found out today that my old girlfriend has been put away in a
mental institution. i dont know how to react to this. listening to
afghan music while john plays the drums. i want to do something
radical. something violent. i feel a strange mix of sadness.
depression. nostalgia. yet it does not make me cry. almost as if it
was expected. as if id been prepared. and yet i was. a year ago michelle
was sent home from college for the same thing. cutting the wrists.
drawing blood. drinking blood. for the pain. the pleasure. no need to
die. i feel scared for her. i still love her very deeply. jen.
michelle. one in the same. june.
april told me the news. it happened tuesday. jens allowed one call a
day for fifteen minutes. so she calls april. they talk. normal things.
she doesnt act disturbed. she isnt. a little peculiarity society
thinks is wrong. but i know people. like beth. or rachael. or karen.
even ive thought about it. its not unstable. its different.
muse@musespace.com