new years eve. we went to a party. people. people none of us knew. met
a guy. ed. so much like roger. his face. his hair.
(and i couldnt bare
to look in his eyes). a longing. a remembrance. and how i could never
touch. i swore i was going to kiss him by the end of the evening. i
swore id fall in love with him. like i did with roger.
i didnt. my soul was saved from the torment of a love i could never
fulfill. yet i longed to touch him. to hold him. but the longing was
only superficially for ed. because he looked like roger. and so i
tried to stay away from him while desperately wanting to be next to
him. and in the end i wasnt entranced. because he wasnt roger. no
matter how closely he looked like him.
later on we left the party. ben was drunk. we left him there. we were
going. and so we celebrated new years eve in a dunkin donuts.