saying all i might
the one fear that prevents me from saying all i might say to someone. that
because of something i say. they might hate me. begin to act differently
toward me. because people are taught to construe comments in certain ways.
and i dont mean them in those ways (when i say 'im attracted to you.' others
thinking. he wants to sleep with me. but often times. simply a statement of
fact. so when i do things. sometimes. you know why. so i can feel closer to
a person. if with a friend. i am attracted. and they assume i am not. i feel
i am deceiving them. in not correcting. and do not think when i say 'that
outfit looks ugly' i mean you look ugly. most times i mean much what i say.
or try to).
how close i feel to someone. many times by how much i am not afraid to tell
them. because i know they wont hate me. we tell strangers the stories of our
lives because we dont care if they judge us. hate us. (some of us). but my
closest friends i reveal the most. though in many ways this book is an
attempt to tell things and not be afraid. probing the deepest parts of my
mind. exposing them. people may hate them. like them. but maybe they will
think. i dont want to be afraid though.
muse@musespace.com