finding. searching. i am slowly going mad. my book is my journey to
understanding. when you understand its all bullshit you believe it anyway.
you have nothing else to believe in. the only thing stopping you from madness
drives you to it.
and i thought today. people who are not philosophical enough to look for
meaning have all the meaning they could possibly want. while those in search
of meaning progressively find the universe meaningless. so they search
for it more.
a friend when high. thought he reached a higher level of consciousness.
became in touch with his animal instincts. desires. wants. needs. akin to
communicating with his soul. he thought this brought him happiness. but
rather he descended. went to a plane where meaning had none. all there was
were desires. wants. needs. it dulled his ability to think. clearly. in that
'higher' realm where one wants meaning. needs meaning. and gets depressed
when one finds none.