my typewriter just ran out of ribbon. ive been writing stories lately. if writing is what you can call it. i
seem to pick some topic and then let my mind roam and my fingers type. i no longer think about
what i write as much anymore. brief pauses to look back and see what ive just written. but not as
much thought on what will be written. is it automatic writing they call it. zen writing in a way. the wu
hsin. no mind. just doing. no thought. writing and that is all.
i am beginning to enjoy writing now. this way of writing is almost as a joy. a strange feeling of
compelling to write. to let my body and mind go with the flow. and just type. nothing more. words
appearing from no where. once one learns something. makes that learning a part of oneself, one no
longer
has to think about doing that thing. it becomes automatic. this is what the martial arts are about.
learning to respond to situations automatically. training the body to do something rather than the
mind. because the body is so much faster and more efficient at performing than the mind. perhaps it
is now my body writing and no longer my mind. my mind is simply a rider in this wave of words.
robert anton wilson calls this the second circuit, bio-survival circuit. is it like heinlein said that a writer
must write to live. because that is how they live. theyve integrated writing into their bio-survival
circuit. but of course i think wilson was overanalysing the situation. trying to make thought out of that
which is no thought. that which can only be known in a way that cant ever truly be expressed. but i
guess thats why he provides exercises. to learn that which he writes about.
i am now convinced in some way that the isaac asimov. who writes some twenty or thirty books a
year, writes this way. where writing just happens rather than something which is done. like sleeping.
one can lie down in bed. but one does not think about how to sleep. one lies down and does. thinking
your way to sleep takes forever. just letting go and sleeping and before you know it you dont. you are
asleep with no thinking any longer of sleep.
so now i am mixing thinking and doing in writing this. i think a thought and then let my mind/body
type out that thought in whatever way it feels. knows. understands is how i will express it. there is no
pre-thought. no thinking before speaking. writing. the old adage of thinking before one speaks only
serves to set ones mind into a state that all things must be thought before they can be expressed.
this i don't. no longer believe is true. one can simply express before the thought has formed. this is
why writing is such great therapy. we write before we develop the thoughts of what we are writing
about. then we read what we have written and that is when we first think the thoughts. after the fact.
anais calls this the white heat of writing.
so often we surprise ourselves with the things we write. speak. people sometimes call this a freudian
slip. it is not a slip, but rather the body expressing before the mind has a chance to think the thought.
how often do you begin to argue something and then realise halfway through the argument that what
you actually thought was not what you thought you thought. i have this conception of thought. this
thought of what thought must be. and this causes us to have beliefs which are not that which are us.
who we are. we begin to think of ourselves in these conceptions. instead of letting go and becoming.
being that which is not conceived, but which is.
so often we surprise ourselves with the things we write. dont you think?