Issue Two
April 1992
What we call our destiny is truly our character, and that character can be
altered. The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and
attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that
we are free to change this destiny. One is not in bondage to the past
which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this
can be altered is we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We
can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the
elements.
- Anaïs Nin, her diary
my heart; myself
split open. laid bare
emotions spill from me
i'm helpless to control
the wound is closing
Emotions damped,
I regain myself
but how deep the scar?
how strong the poison
is my will enough
to see me through?
- will coleda
14,000 Things to Be Happy About
well, for one, you haven't died in a gutter somewhere, choking on
filth like the degenerate smell of rotting flesh running from this
bathroom stall.
I flush the toilet...hoping to get away from that cadaverous fume!
you are a damsel in distress. I am a knight dwelling in angst.
burning my soul tore each feather out of my parakeet one by one. the
ultimate in ultra-violence.
scratching the universal itch with a holographic groove.
slap me again.
tomorrow will be another day. another sunrise. another sunset. happy trails
to you...until we meet again.
Oh and one last thing:
everybody dies. everyone.
Ebony Numbness
floating through an atmosphere of
ebony numbness
a coma like slumber
noises penetrate, puncture the nothingness
like an unexpected, unwelcome visitor
gravity alters, fluctuates
and the floating
becomes leaden
no longer roaming
no longer flying
the path becomes direct
pointed
motivated
until the figure collides with the earth
2:34 am
three hours
34 minutes
five seconds
before i rise for another day of
a weighted gait
heavy shoulders
anchored spirits
where there is little
(if any)
floating
only in my sleep
do i truly
explore an unguided route
through the sooting, hushed
ebony numbness
- cathy heard
Eggs don't bounce. - Dave Sim
If I err, everyone can notice it, but not if I lie. - von Goethe
Take an object.
Do something to it.
Do something else to it.
- Jasper Johns
The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which
is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing
under the sun. - Ecclesiastes 1:9
I like prostitutes. There is no pretense there. They wash themselves
in front of you. - Henry Miller
Never let anyone handle your cock unless it's someone you absolutely
trust. - Tio Pio
Everything that is worth thinking has already been thought before; we
must only try to think it again. - Johann Wolfgang van Goethe
Somewhere between cleanliness and godliness lies compulsion.
Behold Ye Mortals as You Pass By
As You are now so once was I
As I am now You soon must be.
Prepare to Die And Follow Me.
- Captain Thomas Smith, died 1814
Interference
Did you ever just halt in mid-motion, forget your business and gaze into
the soul of another? Standing alone, in air with a musical quality, I
question whether I could connect with you like I had with him, or
thought I had. I don't know what I'm attempting to say anymore. My mind
travels nocturnally to a distant cemetary on a hill. I didn't dance there
like another believed I had. I can't dance in the dark, not with anyone.
I mourned for the lump of flesh without emotions that flitted in and out
and in and out of my life again and again like acts of gang rape. I
become cadaverous, and my eyes probe with the power and skill of a
plastic surgeon and a lie detector combined deeper and deeper into your
appearance forcing you to almost look like him, trying to find the
truth he denied me. Not that he was so great. His silence and
fabrications nearly pleaded for his execution at my hands. I could have
done it, too, if my sanity was less scotch taped into orderliness.
I play thoughtlessly with my purple stockings and as an after thought
pick up my books, tailing you to wherever you're headed. Glacing at my
reflection in every window, I scrutinize my roots and debate when I'll
dye my hair again. With a sigh, I decide to stop writing this story.
I shut the notebook.
EXTREME:PAIN:ART:EXPERIENCE:SMELL:CREATE:
PLEASURE:SENSATIONS:DESTRUCTION:CHAOS:
CONFLICT:CONFUSION:SEX:LOVE:UNDERSTANDING:
THOUGHTS:INTERACTIONS:SLEEP:LIGHT:BEING:
a few things that make life interesting